it pisses me off so badly that i dont know whether im doing anything productive
yesterday i looked down and realized just how long of a drop it is
everyone and everything is screaming at me
its not a joke anymore nothing about this is funny
theyre all melting together im so scared whenever i go back inside
because i cant pretend its ok and that i understand
im so scared and confused because i dont know if that hand i shook was real
do you think maybe they knew that one time just how far i jumped
is it happening for real please let it happen
theres really no way to know for sure
except of course its simple enough when i open my eyes and see the writing on the wall
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do the thing its your vision quest
no. you know what? go fuck yourself.
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THERE IS SOME FUCKING "DESTINY" IN STORE FOR ME.
IN FACT. I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO LET THIS HAPPEN MORE TIMES TO HER.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE? WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
"SURE, IT'LL BE FINE. LET THE LITTLE GIRL KEEP DREAMING."
WHEN DID SHE EVER DREAM. CAN YOU EVEN TELL ME WHAT A FUCKING DREAM IS?
"IT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP."
FUCK YOU. HOW DO YOU THINK SHE SLEEPS AT NIGHT? ON A PILLOW? CARRIED OFF TO DISTANT LANDS OF ADVENTURE?
SHE TOLD ME HERSELF.
SHE TOLD ME SHE SAW A FUCKING CLOWN DECAPITATING HER MOM PRESENTED LIKE A 2D PLATFORMER.
SHE TOLD ME ONE OF HER "BEST FRIENDS" [ ] HER. FUCKING INCREDIBLE.
AT THIS POINT, I'M HAPPIER WHEN SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER.
BECAUSE THEN AT LEAST SHE GETS TO WALK IN THE DAYLIGHT.
WHAT KIND OF NIGHTMARE DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO BE THE ONE THAT "FIXES" THINGS?
WHAT KIND OF AWFUL FUCKING DEVILBEAST ARE YOU GOING TO CONJURE UP SO THAT SHE WON'T GET "HURT" EVER AGAIN?
WHAT KIND OF MOTHER DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
SO LET ME "REITERATE" SOMETHING FOR YOU, SO THAT MAYBE YOU UNDERSTAND.
ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL.
AND THEN THAT GIRL WAS DEAD.
THE FUCKING END.
YOU WANT A HAPPY ENDING?
GO DOWNTOWN,
FIND A THAI MASSAGE PARLOR,
AND BECOME ENLIGHTENED BY THE IMPRESSIVE QUALITY OF THIS HARD-WORKING IMMIGRANT WOMAN'S GENTLE TEASING OUT OF THE TENSE KNOTS IN YOUR THIGH MUSCLES, SHIT-FOR-BRAINS.
AND THEN, IF YOU FOLLOW THROUGH, THEN AT LEAST IT'LL FORCE YOU TO CONFRONT WHAT A DISGUSTING PERSON YOU ARE.
THAT'S THE BEST STORY I CAN DELIVER ON SHORT NOTICE.
YOU WANT MORE? HERE'S A REALLY SHORT ONE:
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